Punography

I was scrolling through things online and found this list of gems to help us all embody our inner, witty, puny, Hamlets.

PUNOGRAPHY

• I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop anytime.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
• A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
• Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory, hope there isn't a pop quiz.
• Energizer Bunny arrested: charged with battery.
• I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
• How do you make holy water?  Boil the hell out of it.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A Thesaurus.
• When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
• What does a clock do when it's hungry? Goes back four seconds.
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• Broken pencils are pointless.

Hamletian Experiences

Dr. Sexson has charged us with playing the part of Hamlet in our own lives.  However, I am hesitant to do so for what I consider to be a valid reason: I am already living with a Hamlet.

My roommate unfortunately tends to be the epitome of negativity.  Don't get me wrong, I love her and she can be a bubbly bundle of fun. This is not frequently the case though.  She carries a very negative attitude toward most things in life.  Those who disagree with her, or point out any mistakes or flaws are attacking her.  If things go wrong, her attitude is ruined.  For example, any evening activities that fall through, or otherwise  fail to work out, my roommate will immediately become pissy and shut herself in her room.  This reflects Hamlet's negativity in many ways.  When upset, he withdraws, and all around him can sense his foul mood.  My other roommate and I try to ignore this dark cloud in our apartment, but doing so is not always easy.  Like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, we try to cheer up our buddy (though not at the orders of a foul king). Also like this duo, we nearly always fail in our mission.  My real life Hamlet friend is perfectly aware of her negative outlook on life.  However, rather than trying to improve things, she takes an "If you don't like it, then it's YOUR problem" attitude.  Yippee for the rest of us...

Due to this current situation, I find myself unwilling to add to the dramatic attitude already permeating our apartment.  One cranky, sensitive roommate is enough at one time.  As a result, I will hold off on the negative Hamletian attitude for the time being.  However, my roommate does not possess all of Hamlet's glorious wit, and so I will try to pun things up around here...stay tuned for results.  Who knows? Maybe my wit will even cheer my roommate up a bit!

Attempt One

So I've tried my hand at writing a sonnet.  I'm a little torn on my feelings towards this creation.  I did fairly well with the format surprisingly enough.  However, I feel as though it is not as eloquent or profound as I would like.  Despite lacking these qualities, this sonnet tells a true personal story and so I find myself personally attached enough to post it as a solid first attempt.  I will try for elegance in a later attempt.  For now, here is my sonnet of both love and love lost.

Sonnet 1: The Cycle of Two

Long ago, as kids, did we first meet.
A gift you gave to me, a dog to love. 
Awhile you left, away, young love so fleet;
came back to me as if sent from above.
Two teens, so young, we let our passion grow.
Two years, so fast and full, then left my side.
My heart did break, and yet, I could not know;
from time our love could only briefly hide.
A year gone by, then once again we fell.
Again two years, so full of love and life.
Then gone again, you put my heart through hell.
We grew so close; yet distance caused us strife.
And now my closest friend you stay to be.
Around we go--will you come back to me?

Reading Sonnets

So we have been assigned to write some sonnets of our own...yikes.  I am not a terribly creative writer so this assignment scares me a little.  I believe I have the motivation to write a couple love sonnets (I'm planning one about love and one about love lost).  However, I don't know yet how to put these emotions into words with such a specific format.  Usually, if I write emotionally, I let the words flow.  Binding them into a rigid outline screws with my emotional vomit.  Considering that analogy, maybe I NEED a format so as not to disgust or overwhelm any reader other than myself.  In order to tackle this assignment, I have been reading Shakespeare's sonnets for inspiration before tackling my own work.  Here are a few sonnets that stood out to me.

Sonnet 62:  This sonnet surprised me because it deals with self-love/vanity rather than love or admiration for another person.  When I think of sonnets, I imagine a love poem for another person (if love indeed be the topic) not a heavy declaration of self-admiration.

Sin of self-love possesseth all mine eye
And all my soul and all my every part;
And for this sin there is no remedy,
It is so grounded inward in my heart.
Methinks no face so gracious is as mine, 
No shape so true, no truth of such account;
And for myself mine own worth do define,
As I all other in all worths surmount.
But when my glass shows me myself indeed,
Beated and chopp'd with tann'd antiquity,
Mine own self-loving were iniquity
'Tis thee, myself,--that for myself I praise,
Paintin my age with beauty of thy days.

Sonnet 137:  We have all heard the phrase "Love is blind."  This sonnet discusses that very nature of love.  I found this sonnet interesting simply because it relates to some personal experiences I have had with love.  Since my own sonnets will be personal, I enjoyed this example as something I can emulate.

Thou blind fool, Love, what dost thou to mine eyes,
That they behold, and see not what they see?
They know what beauty is, see where it lies, 
Yet what the best is take the worst to be.
If eyes, corrupt by over-partial looks,
Be anchor'd in the bay where all men ride,
Why of eyes' falsehood hast thou forged hooks,
Whereto the judgment of my heart is tied?
Why should my heart think that a several plot
Which my heart knows the wide world's common place?
Or mind eyes, seeing this, say this is not,
To put fair truth upon so foul a face?
In things right true my heart and eyes have err'd,
And to this false plague are they now transferr'd

Shady Dreams

Firstly, I want to clarify my title for this post. The dreams I will be illustrating are not "shady" in the sense that it is dark or creepy.  Rather, this title reflects the flighty nature of my dreams, like sunlight flickering among shade in the grass, impossible to pin down.  Like many of my classmates, I rarely remember my dreams clearly.  If I wake up right after the dream, I may remember for a few hours, but by the time the sun is up the dream is a faint memory much like the lovers experience in MSND.  Mostly, however, I remember short snippets here and there.  I'll highlight a few recent interesting ones for you now.

--I have a very vague remembrance of an odd dream where all I can still picture is flying deer (picture Bambi with velvety wings) flying above my head.  No clue where that came from or what was going on...your guess is honestly as good as mine.  I'll chalk that one up to Puck messing with my subconscious.

--I woke up from a dream remembering only that I had just gotten married to my ex-boyfriend.  That opened a whole can of mental worms.

--The most elaborate dream I currently remember involved me living in the apartment next to my band director.  I didn't realize this until we were having a party and I looked at the balcony next to ours.  Low and behold-there he was with his wife and daughter.  Somehow they ended up coming over and joining us.

You can tell from these brief statements that my dreams don't stick well with me.  This is a common situation among humans and Shakespeare was brilliant to pick up on this fact and use it in his play.  Shakespeare is known for writing stories his viewers and readers can relate to, and this is just another example.  Every reader can understand the confusion of the lovers as a haze surrounds their memories of the passing nights.  I know many more half remembered images wait for me in early mornings.  I'll probably spend my life wondering what my mind is up to while I sleep.

To Insult or Compliment, that is the Question

Shakespearean insults have long been a staple of teaching Shakespeare in the high school.  As a result, these colorful phrases are not new to me.  However, I still find them delightful to use and generate--the art of witty insults has been lost in an unimpressive sea of "Your Mom"s and "Your face" (the new generation is so creative eh?).  Anyhoo, I appreciate a good Shakespearean insult as much as any of my fellow English peers.      But Shakespeare was also a king of compliments, especially as the writer of great love stories.  Many people don't realize, or overlook the fact that there is also a Shakespearean compliment generator.  I think both are fun to use, that way you are verbally armed for any situation.  Next time you step forth into the social world, take a few of these wonderful phrases with you!
Insults:
 Thou gleeking, guts-griping giglet!   (YAY alliteration)

Thou yeasty, clapper-clawed moldwarp!

Thou infectious, knotty-pated fustilarian!

Compliments: Afterall, it's almost Valentine's Day
 Thou rare, tiger-booted true penny

Thou celestial, thunder-darting welsh cheese  (Guys, I don't suggest you go around calling a girl "welsh cheese--not sure that's a compliment nowadays).

Thou flowering, honey-tongued nose herb

Act 3, Scene 2

Facing the task of looking up videos from  A Midsummer Night's Dream, I came to realize this would be an impossible task unless I narrowed down the search.  This is easiest done by searching for a specific act or scene.  But which one to choose?  I reflected upon my history with this play and the choice was clear.  My freshman year, I had to perform a scene from this play (with a group) which we had translated into a different time period/setting.  We selected to perform Act 3, Scene 2 (where Lysander and Demetrius are both now in love with Helena) as a western.  I played Puck and Demetrius.  This project was a blast.  The arguments and physical comedy between Lysander and Demetrius are hilarious.  As a result, I went searching for a clip which reflected this comedic nature and met with success.  I present to you a clip of a stage performance of A Midsummer Night's Dream.  Pay careful attention to the physical comedy enacted in this version (although it's rather hard to miss).  Hopefully it will bring you a few laughs!