Punography

I was scrolling through things online and found this list of gems to help us all embody our inner, witty, puny, Hamlets.

PUNOGRAPHY

• I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop anytime.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.
• A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
• Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory, hope there isn't a pop quiz.
• Energizer Bunny arrested: charged with battery.
• I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
• How do you make holy water?  Boil the hell out of it.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A Thesaurus.
• When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
• What does a clock do when it's hungry? Goes back four seconds.
• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
• Broken pencils are pointless.